It’s very easy for communication to break down during a divorce, no matter how good your intentions are to work through an amicable separation. Coping with the emotional upheaval and pressure of a divorce can be really tough, and sometimes it’s difficult to escape the negative spiral that is created when the badmouthing begins.
If you’re facing a divorce, the support of family and friends can make a big difference, along with the reassurance of an experienced and sensitive solicitor. But with all the help in the world, sometimes you may find yourself struggling to navigate the emotional minefield of separation. Here are a few ways of softening the blow and coping with a divorce:
- Accept that you can’t save your marriage. Ending a relationship is always painful, but sometimes it’s the best outcome for all involved, and coming to terms with the finality of your separation can be the first step to moving on. Counselling is an effective way to find closure and work through your emotions during and after your divorce;
- Talk. Ideally, to your spouse, and ideally about the future. You may feel more like talking about what caused the divorce, but going over the same ground and dragging up more negative feelings achieves little. By talking practically and openly about what you need from your situation and about the outcome you’re hoping for, it will be easier to find a way to resolve your divorce as calmly and amicably as possible;
- Don’t make snap judgements. Decisions made in the heat of the moment are rarely the right ones. Divorce is not a lightning quick process, and while it can take just a few months, complications and stubbornness will increase its duration and ultimately make the situation more stressful for you. Take your time to understand your rights and options, and get the advice of a divorce solicitor you trust. When you have a big decision to make, remember that waiting a day, a week, or even a month is unlikely to make a huge difference to the outcome so long as you are making the right decision. Take your solicitor’s advice and don’t rush;
- Stay active and embrace the new. It’s really important to look after yourself physically and mentally during a divorce. Exercise, rest, healthy eating and taking time to enjoy yourself can help you to feel more positive and in control, and give you some much-needed endorphins. And since you’re embarking on a brand new chapter of your life, why not take up something new and exciting to give you a boost? Plan a holiday, try a new hobby or make a change to your routine, and see where it takes you;
- Get help from an expert. A mediation-trained solicitor or collaborative family lawyer can be invaluable when you want to find the best outcome for your family during a divorce. These out-of-court separation processes allow you to work with experienced family lawyers to minimise stress and disruption for your children, and to create a positive plan for life as separated parents.
There’s no denying that divorce is a challenge, but with the right help it can be broken down into manageable chunks until it feels much less overwhelming. Don’t face it on your own – find an experienced, supportive divorce solicitor and choose a positive approach to separation.
Frances Lindsay & Co are a team of down-to-earth, experienced family lawyers, divorce solicitors, mediation-trained lawyers and arbitrators, providing fixed-fee legal services in Maidenhead, Beaconsfield, Windsor and across the Thames Valley. Let us take the weight off your shoulders and find the best resolution to your situation.