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The Reasons Behind Infidelity

December 27, 2013  |   Posted by :   |   Blog

One of the five ‘facts’ cited as grounds for a divorce petition is adultery, and though it’s less common than ‘unreasonable behaviour’ these days, it still remains one of the central causes for separation in UK couples. When a marriage breaks down due to infidelity there can be plenty of resentment, anger, upset and confusion on both sides, but looking at the reasons behind the situation can sometimes help both parties work through the divorce in a positive way.

As divorce solicitors, we have experience with many different circumstances that relate to the breakdown of a relationship, and we approach every case with sensitivity and professionalism. In the case of adultery, we understand that the process of separation may be fraught and highly emotional, and our aim is to take the weight from your shoulders and secure the best possible outcome for your family.

While most of the blame often falls on the unfaithful partner, they may also be feeling resentful towards their spouse for what they perceive to be the reasons for their adultery. Sometimes a partner feels ‘pushed away’ or is unsatisfied with a lack of intimacy; sometimes couples simply grow apart and lose the spark they once had; sometimes a chance encounter leads to an infidelity and that’s that. In our experiences, however, there is almost always an underlying issue within the marriage, and the process of divorce can be a way to discover and even resolve these issues so that a couple can move on.

Mediation, arbitration and collaborative family law are all alternative methods of divorce which avoid the need to go to court while allowing couples to discuss their problems and needs in an objective, supportive environment. However, these processes may not be suitable for couples who feel unable to meet with each other in this way, and in all cases a traditional route to divorce can be sought.

But what causes a partner to be unfaithful? There are plenty of excuses and reasons given by unfaithful spouses, but what it usually comes down to is a lack of communication and honesty:

  • Couples who lead very different social lives are more likely to be unfaithful to each other;
  • A lack of sexual or emotional intimacy is one of the most common causes of infidelity, leading one partner to feel as if there’s little left for them in the relationship;
  • Transitional periods and life changes can put a lot of stress on a relationship, for example having a child, retiring, starting a new job, moving house, or suffering a loss;
  • Excessive criticism, feeling misunderstood or an imbalance of responsibilities and financial freedom can also strain a marriage to breaking point;
  • Detachment from the reality of the consequences of adultery may cause a partner to go into denial about the seriousness of their actions and they may even delude themselves into justifying their infidelity.

Whatever the reason for the breakdown of a relationship, compromise and understanding is required on both sides in order to come to a mutually positive separation. An experienced divorce solicitor is also essential for helping you through the process in such an emotionally-charged situation. For advice and assistance on what to do if your partner has been unfaithful, contact us at Frances Lindsay & Co to speak to one of our friendly and professional family lawyers.

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