I could only cheer at the runners finishing London Marathon yesterday and remember what it feels like. It’s a while since I ran a marathon, well to tell the truth it was more like an ungainly shuffle round the streets of New York. Still the view was good and I did raise a lot of money for a good cause. I promised my children that if I completed the course I would wear my medal for a week. I did. Now the thing is that in NY the people came out and shook my hand, once I returned home the people in Waitrose stared and shook their heads at what they thought was showing off. I suppose I was but wearing the medal gave me something to think about.
That week I had to give a talk at the CAB and of course I wore my medal and it gave me the substance of the talk. Marriage is more like a marathon than a sprint. It starts off full of hope and excitement and hits rocky patches which for the most part you get through and things get better. Sometimes, just as in the marathon you ‘hit the wall’. Hitting the wall is when you just have nothing left, no energy, no spirit nothing. In the race you can focus on the end and that gets you through. If that doesn’t a bar of chocolate or a Lucozade might do it. But what if your marriage has ‘hit the wall’. Now this is a funny thing for a divorce lawyer to say, but here it is, – don’t come and see me. Not yet anyway. Some fruit and nut and a fizzy drink may be all you need to get you through, more likely some competent couples counselling can help.
If you are sick of chocolate and fizzy drinks give you gas and counselling has set your resolve, then come and see me. Hopefully the counselling will if nothing else have helped you both to see that separating may be the best thing for you and helped you to talk to each other. Come and see us then and we can help you through or even over the wall to the finish line and your new life.