There are no wrongs about co-habitation. It is a choice each couple makes. Some people marry or enter into a civil partnership; others do not. It is a personal choice and not one that you need to explain to anyone else. Like all choices it should be made with the benefit knowing the rights, your rights as one half of an unmarried couple.
The fact of the matter is that if you do not have a formal written agreement, either a Living Together Agreement and/or a Declaration of Trust if you are buying a property together, you have few if any rights.
It doesn’t matter how long you live together whether it be 30 days or 30 years you do ...
December 20, 2023 | Posted by :
Frances Lindsay |
co-parenting
It’s Christmas again. Amid all the Christmas trees, jingle bells, and carols, there are families.
Families are great at Christmas. Granny and Grandpa spoiling the kids and drinking the cooking sherry. Brothers and sisters bringing their children round and fights between cousins. It’s all ok. It’s Christmas, and that’s what families do.
But what if you are separated from your children at Christmas?
Number one tip to make it a great Christmas for them and you: stop; think and make it about them not you.
When talking to your ex about arrangements for Christmas, don’t involve the kids in the decision-making. Just tell them what is going to happen. It will make them feel loved and secure; and that both their parents ...
December 08, 2023 | Posted by :
Frances Lindsay |
Notes from the desk
Anyone involved in or about to be involved in anything that goes remotely near a court will be aware of the astonishing delays in having cases listed. In Financial Remedy cases, it can take years if you follow the court timetable, but that’s just money. I say ‘just money’, knowing how important it is to sort out your finances when separating or divorcing and having some finality so you can get on with your life. But today, we are talking about children’s cases where the delays are so bad that even the government is looking at them. So bad, actually that the CAFCASS prioritisation protocol will be used initially in London courts.
Cafcass, which represents the interests of children ...
November 30, 2023 | Posted by :
Frances Lindsay |
Mediation
In a recent blog, I wrote about court delays and mediation and how mediation is often a better option anyway. I also referred to other benefits, and here I have set out what I think are the top benefits of mediation vs courts. Most mediations takes place with only you, your ex, and a mediator, but you can, if you agree, have your solicitors with you either through the whole mediation or just for some sessions where you think it would be helpful for you.
1 - Timing
Mediation can be organised fairly quickly. The delays in the court at the current time are astonishing, and, the prioritisation protocol may be used, meaning someone is deciding whether your case is ...
October 25, 2023 | Posted by :
Frances Lindsay |
Notes from the desk
(to paraphrase Mr Shakespeare)
I very much believe in marriage counselling. I know that is an odd thing for a divorce lawyer to say given what we do but I often suggest to potential clients that instead of sitting in my office they should go to counselling. The wisest thing to do is to come to see us as soon as you think you may need us. We don’t mind if you come to see us, and everything works out in the end. It is always helpful to have information. Counselling is not always suitable but there are oh so many cases where a few hours of counselling would be so helpful.
What is marriage counselling? Marriage counselling is not ...
October 13, 2023 | Posted by :
Frances Lindsay |
Divorce
You have probably googled some version of how to divide the assets on divorce and have seen that it is a 50:50 split. You have also probably seen many articles which say that is not always true. If you haven’t seen the articles, then I am here to tell you that it is not always true.
I love Google. I get so much information from Google. It is an amazing and mostly knowledgeable resource. The trouble with it when looking at what happens to assets on divorce is that Google dredges up responses from around the world and keywords for various articles. So, let’s look at what happens in our world. The jurisdiction is England and Wales. Other parts ...
Ever heard of a quickie divorce? I have, more times than I care to remember. I have had clients come in and say I am getting married in 6 weeks and the registrar wants confirmation of my divorce, can you do a quickie divorce? Err no. The only people who get divorced that quickly are actors in soaps.
You have seen it, the episode on Tuesday where the wife gives the husband ‘divorce papers’ and then in the next episode on Thursday where she is happily walking down the aisle in a lovely frock towards her new love.
Even allowing for dramatic effect it could simply not be done that fast. The quickie divorce was called that because before the ...
Talking off words – which if you read our previous note we were – I was thinking about the most difficult words to say and I came up with this;-The three most difficult words are ‘I was wrong’ followed by the next three most difficult words ‘I am sorry’ somehow during our lives we learn never to admit that we made a wrong decision or our actions were wrong and never apologize. Those three words are mighty powerful both to you and the person hearing them.
I read an article today about a couple who got divorced over a cup. Yes, seriously a cup. In this story, I fear it was true, the husband (but it could equally ...
I read recently that Rupert Murdoch at 95 has just got engaged and is looking forward to his 5th marriage. This may be old news in many way but I don’t really have the chance to read celebrity media so I indulge myself when I am in the queue for a sandwich at M & S or I am at the dentist or doctor. From my research, it seems that not that many people get divorced at that age although I once acted for a 91 year old man divorcing his 89 year old wife. I was puzzled by it and never got to the why. Both sides were resolute though.
My favourite case was that of a 72 ...
The Family Solutions Group set up by Mr Justice Cobb to mark the first anniversary of the no fault divorce reforms have identified the following words as the most harmful to family relationships which are already somewhat finely balanced during the course of separation and divorce.
Custody
Versus
Battle
Opponent
Rights
Parties
Disputes
These words are seen as the most combative and inflammatory. Other words perceived as harmful included entitlement 50:50, primary carer, fight, access.
So this set me thinking; I think we must admit that sometimes it is difficult as a professional not to slip into ‘shorthand’ words to express what we want to say to fellow professionals (I avoided opponent) without thinking it through properly and/or being conscious the people you are talking about will ...
