Research from the Marriage Foundation suggests that second marriages fare better than first marriages, with a third of subsequent marriages ending in divorce as opposed to almost half of first time couplings.
According to the report, “Wisdom really does come with age: second marriages are less likely to end in divorce than first marriages, new research reveals. The Marriage Foundation think-tank has produced a report revealing that second marriages are more stable than first marriages, challenging the widely held belief that couples who remarry are doomed to repeat the mistakes from their first marriage. Almost half – 45 per cent – of all couples who marry for the first time in 2013 will divorce during their lifetime. However, divorced couples who marry for the second time have only a 31% chance of their marriage ending in divorce.”
According to the Office for National Statistics, 15% (38,320) of all marriages in the UK are remarriages, and 19% (48,880) of all marriages involve one partner who has been married before, while 67% (175,040) of partnerships are first marriages for both parties.
Anyone who’s been through a divorce knows what a life-changing experience it can be –for good or for bad – and this may be why those who re-marry tend to wait until they’re absolutely sure they’re ready to commit to a second partnership. As one interviewee from Kate Fige’s book Couples: The Truth explains: “It feels like a much bigger commitment second time around. You’re doing it with the experience of, well, having failed.”
Of course, ‘failure’ isn’t the most positive way to look at divorce. The breakdown of a relationship is never simple, and it is the hope of many solicitors and family law organisation Resolution that there will be a movement away from a blame-based system in the future.
Journalist and author Clover Stroud wrote about her experiences on remarrying after ten years, taking into account how much she had changed during that time: “A decade has passed between my two marriages, a decade to take a hard look at my behaviour and acknowledge the role I played. I understand that making this marriage work isn’t down to luck, having made the ‘right’ decision this time as opposed to the ‘wrong’ decision last time, but is destined by choice and me choosing to make the marriage work.”
We can learn a lot through divorce, and through our relationships, whether they are harmonious or come to an abrupt end. Even though the going may be tough, in time, we learn to communicate better, to compromise, and to seek what’s best for us as individuals and as families. Using collaborative-based methods of dispute resolution like mediation and collaborative family law can help separating couples to resolve their differences out of court and begin again with closure and dignity – paving the way for healthier and stronger relationships in the future.
To speak to an experienced and down-to-earth family lawyer about options for separation, get in touch with Frances Lindsay & Co at www.franceslindsay.co.uk. We offer fixed-fee options for mediation, arbitration, collaborative family law and divorce, and support every step of the way to find the right method of dispute resolution for you.Tags: divorce, divorce solicitor Thames Valley, marriage