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Finding Support Through Divorce and Separation:

August 14, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   Blog

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Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel can be hard when you’re going through a tough divorce, but you’re not alone. The upheaval and major decision-making involved in separation isn’t easy, but when you’re feeling overwhelmed, keep the end result in mind – soon you’ll be taking that first step into your new life and leaving your relationship difficulties behind. And there’s plenty of different ways to find support along the way, such as:

  • Your solicitor. Your family lawyer is there to offer impartial and experienced advice on your situation, from choosing which method of separation will best suit your needs to how to draw up a petition for divorce. Trust in your solicitor’s knowledge and let them ease the stress of dealing with the technical aspects of your case. Your solicitor can also act as a go-between if you’re struggling to communicate with your ex.
  • Friends and Family. An obvious choice, but often people shy away from reaching out to family and friends during divorce. Instead, they keep things bottled up – perhaps out of embarrassment at the breakdown of their relationship, or wanting to appear like everything’s under control. Don’t be afraid to open up, even if it’s simply to ask for some practical help with childcare or passing on a message to your ex – though be wary of taking legal advice from anyone other than your solicitor!
  • Someone neutral. Sometimes support can be found in the most unlikely places, and speaking to someone who may not know much about your situation can be helpful – perhaps a colleague, acquaintance or long-distance friend. You might be surprised at the relief of offloading to someone objective.  
  • Your ex. They might be the last person you want to talk to right now, but having a frank discussion about how you feel with your ex might be just what you need. After all, they probably know you better than anyone. It’s okay to admit that you’re mourning your relationship and let your ex know if they’ve upset you – in fact, a little reminiscing about the good times may just pave the way for a more amicable separation.
  • A professional. If you’re feeling down or overwhelmed, it could be helpful to speak to your GP about being referred for counselling, or visit Relate with your ex to see if you can work through the ending of your marriage together. Mediation is an effective method of separation for couples who are prepared to discuss the consequences of the breakdown of their relationship, as it involves working together to find a mutually beneficial solution. And while mediation isn’t a form of counselling, many couples find that it helps to provide closure on the situation and allows them to move forward feeling positive, especially if there are children involved.
  • Online/local support groups. There are many different support groups and communities on and offline for people going through divorce and beyond. Online, Resolution offers practical advice on the process of separation while Gingerbread provides information and support for single parents. Alternatively, you can search for a support group in your area via your local family information service.

If you’re based in the Thames Valley, the family law team at Frances Lindsay & Co offer friendly, down-to-earth advice, and fixed fee legal services for divorce, mediation, arbitration and collaborative family law. Let us take the weight off your shoulders and help you find the right solution for your situation. 

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